Woah.

You leave for a two months and you just forget how to blog. Excuse me while I get back into the swing of things. I’m not going to give a long explanation about why I was gone but I was and now I’m not. And no, don’t you accuse me of being with my other woman because she’s been just as abandoned as you. I like to be a free man sometimes. BACHELOR PAD HERE I COME. Just me and old bags of onion rings and XBOX. Sounds like the life to me.

I can’t get back into my amazing wittiness and cleverness that my blog oozed with in the past so this will just be a post to remind everyone that I’m alive until I can be the comical genius that is Ryan again.

Did you guys know it was Justin Bieber’s mom’s birthday the other day? No? What’s wrong with you? It was trending on twitter because don’t you know that Justin’s MILF getting old is more important than the floods in RI? Yeah, that’s right. The only time my state gets put on the map is when we’re three feet under water.

My eyelids are getting heavy and I need to wake up tomorrow to celebrate zombie Jesus. Did Zombie Jesus get killed after he rose from the dead? I never really wondered about that. After he came back alive did he just like chill and hang out with his biffles or did he re-die, or did he pull a John Locke and get possessed by god/satan/men in black?

FF) Rabbits can’t puke
LOST) All caught up!

You must feel like the woman I’m cheating on in my life as of recently, don’t you bloglings? I used to be so devoted to you, updated a few times a week, but I’ve moved on. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still come back and you can have my sloppy seconds, but my new girlfriend is really pretty and friendly and she doesn’t care if I make short boring entries. Oh, how is this stunning new lady? Tumblr. Yes, yes, I know I’ve told you that I have one but I didn’t use it often, but I’m on it all the time now.

You can also blame my exams for making me study all the time so I couldn’t make entries. They’re almost done, I only have one left. They’ve been harder than I expected, so I’m hoping that I don’t fail and have to drop out of school and then live on the street with a cardboard box that I stole from a little kid who was using as a pretend rocket ship and then I’ll have to grow marijuana and sell it because I’m trading my food stamps for acid.

Oh, sorry, did I ramble on?

There should also be a layout change by the time you’re reading this, and if there wasn’t, congrats on being the creep who just refreshes my page until I make a post. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of fun this week.

Is it bad that blogging is actually hurting me? I decided to learn how to play the guitar today and I already play a lot of other instruments so it’s coming pretty easy but I keep trying to play an F chord but I can’t do it. I have these indents on my fingers from pushing the strings so far.

Does anyone watch Ugly Betty? It’s on after American Idol so I just keep watching the TV and I am starting to LOVE that show. I mean, the plot it OK, and the writing is OK, but the artistic-ness (is that a word?) is just amazing. The color contrast and the way that some colors are brighter is so enticing that I can’t look away.

But that’s what I’m going to do from this blog right now: Look away.

FF) Arkon, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world
Lost) 3×19

It may seem like I haven’t blogged in a while because I hate you with a burning passion, and although that may be part of the reason, the main reason is that I haven’t had anything to complain about. And things are still going well, but I’m here to blog because my friend Kaitlin told me to, and I can’t resist peer pressure. While in English class we were talking about how most actors that make it big only make it big because of their family name, and that led us to talking about just GOOD actors. Such as Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp is really one of those people who can play any part you give them. From Captain Jack Sparrow to Sweeny Todd to The Mad Hatter.

OK. That’s really all I had to say. You’re welcome Kaitlin.

American Idol this season is really ridiculous, I’m not sure if I can continue to watch. It seems like it’s 75% people who can’t sing 24% people who can kind of sing and 1% of people who have really great voices that stand out. And I feel like it used to be 50% bad 25% OK and 25% amazing. I guess they already kind of used up all the good people. I should go audition. I’m pretty much the best thing on the face of the planet. It might actually be kind of unfair if I auditioned because I would just throw off the scale so much. I’ll do a favor to the world by staying home and making fun of everyone

Also, I’m adding a LOST episode count to the end of my blog because that show is amazing

FF) Google is my favorite company ever.
LOST: 3×6

I’m currently at my friends house in Connecticut with three girls and they are watching a CHICK FLICK. Can you believe that? A CHICK FLICK. Ew. I can’t like chick flicks because I’m a MANLY MAN. GRRR. I like sports and cars and girls and flowers food and girls! How emasculating to be watching a movie that you know how it’s going to end from the moment it starts. Where are the explosions, huh? Where are the guns and the violence and the zombies? I guess it’s on a big TV so it’s justified.

Also back home my Kim Possible ringtone is original and a conversation started but EVERYONE has that ringtone here. It’s so confusing. Everyone else should change their ringtone because I deserve to keep it because I deserve everything. Also this is old people town. If you’re out past nine you’re the only card within miles. Unless you’re at walgreens. I was at walgreens, much later than anyone should be at walgreens, and there were old women EVERYWHERE. I have no reason why all of these old ladies were out this late but they were and it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

Fun Opinion Fun Fact ) LOST is one of the best TV shows of all time

PS) The amount of time I spend at Ihop is insane.

Oh, did I mess that up AGAIN? Me and my stupid typos.

Well bloglings, we have gained two new members to out cult group. In history I was with my friend “Taylee” and “Bottom Icher” and we were slacking, I mean researching, things on google. Eventually we typed in my name and they found this website. They read it and they fell in love with my witty humor and political correctness and they just couldn’t leave. So welcome them, we will do the dancing around the fire ritual later.

But while we’re talking about my sath teacher* let’s talk about my Eautiful Bnglish teacher**. For some reason she thinks that high school students aren’t slackers and she thinks it’s a great idea to pile on homework and make everything do the same day. Now, I understand why she would think that is a great idea, because it is. Well it is except for the fact that it’s not a great plan. It just means that I’m doing all of the work in one night. I’ve realized that in that class as long as it looks pretty and you use fun colors you’ll get a good grade.

Speaking of pretty colors, have you guys head of HD Sunglasses? In the immortal words of my french teacher: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” You can’t see the world in HIGH DEFINITION because you already see the world in REAL DEFINITION. God. I think the next step is bottled air and glasses that let you see the world in 3D.

FF) Goldfishes metabolism rely on the temperature of their water.

CHRISTMASSSSSSS
I LOVE CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSS
YAYYYYY.

I don’t know what it is about watching Survivor with my family makes me want to blog. Maybe it’s the fact that I want to kill each and everyone of them (family, not the people on survivor) and I need something to take my mind off my fury.

Today I spent my afternoon watching dozens of videos and commenting over a thousand times. As anti-social as that sounds it was a lot of fun because I wasn’t alone. I wish with a bunch of other people who lack a social life. But it was for charity so I can so I can check off my good dead of the year day.

SURVIVOR STOP DISTRACTING ME WITH YOU OBVIOUSLY STAGED EVENTS.

A few days ago my dad got this special kind of yogurt which taste better than what we usually get and he got five of them. I’ve had two and my sister has had two. Now there is one left (Oh the things trigonometry can teach you) and my sister thinks she should get it. Now not only is she fat and doesn’t need any more food, but don’t you think that the yogurt is rightfully mine? I mean, I’m vastly superior in every way so it should be mine. I mean, honestly, if you were dying and the one possession that you had was a DELICIOUS yogurt, you would definitely leave it to me over my little sister, right? Right. That’s what I thought.

———————————————

Ok so that was like a week ago. But since then the only interesting thing I have found is what follows. NSFW.

FF) CHRISTMAS IS IN THREE DAYSS AHHH.

WARNING: This is another blog that has no purpose but to keep me entertained for a little while.

Ah, welcome to the new and improved stress-free life of Ryan Leys. Well, except for the huge paper I have to write this weekend. But a lot of things ended this weekend and now it leaves me with one problem. Boredom. WHAT DO I DO NOW? I mean, I still have friends to hang out with but not every moment of my life I need to do something. God, I live such a hard life. Really, those kids in Ethiopia have no idea how good they have it. Always wondering if they’ll have food or clean water. Spoiled brats.

Oh let me talk about how big of a witch my history teacher is. Every two weeks or so she has us do something she calls a “Current Event.” And what you do in this current event is she gives you a region in the world and tells you to find a news article about that area and write a few paragraphs on this. I always do really well in this sections because I’m a genius. There’s really no other way to describe my success. But I guess I heard her incorrectly when she told us what out latest topic was. I thought she said South-West Asia, when in-fact she said South Asia. So I did my amazing paper on Iran, when I should have been doing it on India. Stupid India and their rapidly growing economy. Can’t they just deal with being poor? God, middle-class is an American thing, they need to get that through their thick skulls.

You know? Sometimes I think I should get an award for being the most politically correct person to ever walk this earth. Sainthood, here I come!

And for lack of content I leave you with a picture of my girlfriend and her sister.

I know, you don’t have to be jealous. They’re twins, you can have the second one

FF) Lady bugs only live for one year, so their spots do not represent their age.

The play is over! Thank God. The rehearsals were so painful to get through, but we ended up doing a lot better than I thought we were going to be. It was nice getting random people coming up to me telling me I did well. I should start charging for autographs. I need some way to pay for college. $50 bucks a pop. A little expensive, but still cheeper than hiring your mom for a night. I also apologize in advance for the scatter-brained blog because I have no idea where I’m going to go with this.

With the play out of my life the only some-what stressful thing, besides the normal day to day stuff, if the chorus concert. We still have a lot of places to work on before we are concert ready, and even when we are ready I know we won’t sound as good as last year. This is because a lot of things, but I can’t linger on what we sounded like last year, I need to focus on how I can help turn this chorus into something presentable.

I also got my bop-it back from my friend the other day. She borrowed it for months but I was finally able to get it back from her. Endless amounts of joy are back at the tips of my fingers!

For lack of ways to end this blog it’s just going to stop. I’m sorry this was pointless, but I hadn’t updated in a while.

FF) Swans keep a mate for life.

I know it’s small (That’s what she said) but it make me happy that I was able to put my through a full month of torture to get a little banner to show off to people. Wait… why did I do that again? It doesn’t matter, it’s December 1st and NaNoWriMo is done. I was able to finish 50,000 words while Hayley Hoover, an aspiring author, couldn’t.

Now that NaNoWriMo is over and I’m trying to forget about the pain I went through, I’m going to stop talking about it and change the subject. Remember how I told you that I learned the wrong part of my audition song, so they made me try to sight read it? Well, after all of that we finally got the results back. And I got in. Not only did I get in, but I also got 5th place. There must have been no competition this year. I honestly have no idea how that happened. I figured that if, on the off chance, I got in I would be in the late teens or even 20’s, but the top 5? That was not what I was expecting.

So that’s 2 good things, and because this blog can’t be too happy, I’m going to put in a bad thing.

This week is Tech Week. Now, in this blog you have heard me talk about how rehearsals are killing me not-so-slowly. This week has four hour rehearsals every day after school. Four hours. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this. Because I have a lead in this show it means I’m on stage often, which means I don’t have any down time to do my homework. So I have to stay up late finishing homework. I can’t wait until this week is over and I have no obligations.

I’ll leave off with one more good thing! I got my H1N1 vaccination and I can still walk forwards.

FF) Birth of gnomes is always twins